


i miss you

by buckfxckbarnes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone (Walking Dead), M/M, The Hilltop (Walking Dead), Uncle Daryl, aaron and daryl are in love, aaron is a good dad, daaron, daryl would be a good dad, still the apocalypse tho, uncle jesus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 09:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24348577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckfxckbarnes/pseuds/buckfxckbarnes
Summary: takes place in the time jump after rick disappears. daryl's grieving, and aaron's there to help.all the lowercase letters are on purpose, it's just how i write okay
Relationships: Aaron/Daryl Dixon
Kudos: 26





	i miss you

**Author's Note:**

> there is a little bit of a trigger warning around when they get to alexandria and aaron says something about dinner until the few day time skip. someone has a panic attack so be careful if that's triggering for you.

the last thing they expected was for the bridge to go up in flames in front of them. with rick still on it. 

daryl wanted to scream. to run into the flames engulfing the bridge they spent so many months building. he wanted to find rick. his rick. he wanted to save him. wanted to know he was okay. to yell at him. call him stupid. ask why he would do that to him. 

instead, he walked away. he couldn't face anyone, not with his hardened exterior crumbling as quickly as it was. he walked, and walked, and walked until he couldn't. he moved until he collapsed to the forest floor. silent sobs racked his body. they were so violent he nearly didn't hear the footsteps behind him. 

he sprung up and around, blade drawn, ready to kill whatever was following him. his tear-filled eyes met those of aaron. he didn't know why, but he let himself break down in front of the other man. a loud sob drew from his lips as he sunk back down to his knees. aaron came close, hand extended as if to ask permission. daryl fell into it, needing the touch and comfort of another human being now more than ever. 

aaron just held him. daryl's cries shook both their bodies. aaron pressed light, comforting kisses to daryl's hair. they had to have just been sitting on the forest floor for hours, because the sun was starting to set. 

"daryl." aaron spoke softly. "we should head back."

"i-" his throat hurt. "i can't go back there without knowin' if he's okay er not." 

aaron's eyes softened. "okay." and he held the older man tighter. 

_____________________________

three years, daryl spent out in the woods looking for rick. aaron would come out every so often to help, but it was hard to with a daughter that needed him as well. he went as often as he could. 

he stepped over the guards surrounding the camp, finally understanding what jesus was meant about him being heavy on his left foot. 

"dar?" he called. he took two steps deeper into the camp before he heard a growl behind him. he turned slowly to see a dog baring his teeth at him. "hey, boy." he slowly put his hands out. the dog stepped closer. 

a whistle sounded, and the dog took one last look at aaron before running in the direction of the call. aaron decided to follow as well. 

daryl had his back turned, busy cooking something over a fire. aaron crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby tree. he watched as the dog say by daryl's side at the fire. 

"cute dog. got a name?" 

daryl grunted. "dog." 

"how creative." aaron joked. 

daryl just huffed. he pulled his food off the fire, separating the already small serving into two even smaller ones. he offered one to aaron. 

"i brought some. i'm good." daryl pushed it into his flesh hand anyway. aaron sat down. "thanks." 

they sat quietly next to each other. it was comfortable, unlike the first meal they shared together back in alexandria. aaron thought back to that night, eric sitting next to daryl. he still missed eric. eric was his first love. he still remembers seeing him walking into that herd. 

_"i love you."_

_"i always had a hunch."_

aaron pushed the thought of eric to the side. sure, the pain was still there, but it was dulling. it was easier to manage now. 

"how's gracie doin'?" daryl broke the silence. he would never admit it, but he had a soft spot for kids. 

"good. she's good." aaron replied. "she's getting so big now." a moment lapsed. "you know, you should come see her sometime. she's always asking about you."

"didn't think she remembered me much." daryl shrugged. 

"i'm always telling her stories about you." daryl glanced at him, then directed his gaze to his hands. 

"i miss you, too, dar." 

daryl didn't respond. aaron moved closer and rested his head on daryl's shoulder. he was suddenly really tired. daryl's head fell to rest on top of aaron's. they've grown close over the past few years, to the point that aaron considered the other man to be his best friend. 

aaron didn't remember falling asleep. he did realize, however, that he was no longer on daryl's shoulder. instead something softer was under his head and he was laying down. there was a hand running through his hair, it was soothing. he didn't want to open his eyes. 

"miss you, too, aar." it was a whisper, like only he was supposed to hear it. aaron wanted to smile, to leap up and hug the other man tightly. instead, he just fell back asleep, daryl's hand in his hair lulling him into the most peaceful sleep he'd had in a while. 

when he woke again, he was in the tent and the sun was pouring through the open front. he sat up, raising his arms above his head in a stretch. he pulled his prosthetic on - daryl must've taken it off for him - and exited the tent. 

daryl was sat on the log in front of a low fire heating up some of the soup aaron brought. 

"mornin' sunshine." his voice was rougher with sleep. 

"hey." aaron's own voice was gravelly.

"sleep well?" daryl tossed dog a piece of meat he was also heating over the fire. 

"yeah." he cleared his throat. "thanks, for uh," he gestured with his left arm.

daryl grunted. "seemed uncomfortable. no need ta thank me."

"well, i thank you anyway." aaron smiled. he brushed his hand through his hair, then remembered the feeling of daryl's last night. his breathing stuttered for a moment. 

he was brought back when daryl held a bowl out to him. 

"thanks." quiet took over again for their meal. 

"was thinkin'." daryl broke it. "maybe i should come back fer a few days. tired this area out. could recoup 'fore settin' up camp somewheres else." 

aaron beamed. "that'd be great." daryl's lip quirked up for a second before returning to its place. 

"we can head back after we clean all this shit up." he whistled for dog, who had wandered off, as he stood. aaron's eyes followed him. he didn't know what it was, but there was something different about daryl. he couldn't take his eyes off him. 

he shook his head and stood to help daryl pack up the camp. if he was being completely honest, he didn't think daryl would agree to coming back to alexandria with him. 

it only took the two of them twenty minutes or so to get everything they needed loaded into the bed of aaron's truck. daryl straddled his bike, which aaron caught himself paying extra attention to. he brushed it off. 

"dog. up." aaron commanded. dog jumped into the passenger side of the truck's cab and sat down, waiting patiently. daryl pulled up next to the driver's side as aaron rounded the truck. he climbed in behind the wheel. 

"ready?" aaron looked to dog, who barked in response. daryl laughed. "let's get goin', then."

the trip to alexandria was just short of a day. they'd gotten back just as the sun was starting to set. while driving, daryl let his mind wander a bit. he knew why he agreed to come back. he kept telling himself it was because he needs a break, or that he's been meaning to visit michonne and judith, meet rj. in the end, he just didn't want to accept or admit the real reason he agreed was aaron himself. 

daryl almost forgot what alexandria looked like. and since... the accident, they've been expanding and getting stronger. michonne was waiting for them when they arrived. she looked at daryl with sad eyes before pulling him into a hug. 

"'m sorry, chonne." he breathed. her grip just tightened before letting go. 

"it's been a while, daryl." she offered a smile. before he could respond, judith and gracie came running with jesus in tow. 

"uncle daryl!" and "dad!" were yelled at daryl and aaron, respectively. 

they both smiled brightly before crouching to catch the girls. 

"were you good for uncle paul while i was gone?" aaron picked his daughter up and looked to jesus as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. jesus just nodded and smiled back. 

"how ya been, lil ass kicker?" judith laughed in daryl's arms, hugging him tight around the neck. 

"good! i learned how to read!" daryl's eyes widened with enthusiasm that rivaled hers.

"now _you_ can read bedtime stories to _me._ " he joked. he missed this kid. 

judith nodded excitedly. then, she noticed dog sitting at daryl's side wagging his tail. she gasped loudly. "a dog! gracie, look!" they both ran to pet dog, who bathed in the attention. 

aaron bumped his shoulder into daryl's and beamed at him. 

"how long are you in for, daryl?" michonne questioned. "i can set up somewhere for you to stay."

"he can stay with me." aaron spoke without thinking. "i mean- if that's alright with you." he glanced at daryl.

daryl gave a short nod to aaron. "'m in for a few days, at least. gotta map out where 've been an' haven't been." 

"okay." michonne looked between the two with a quirk of her lips and left. 

"i'm headed back to hilltop in the morning. good seeing you again, daryl. you'll have to come see maggie and hershel before you go searching again." jesus gave a soft smile and patted aaron on the back and took his leave.

daryl's heart sunk at the mention of maggie. he still blamed himself for a lot. 

aaron noticed the sudden mood shift. "hey. let's go eat. we didn't stop for lunch." he took gracie's hand in his and headed toward his house. daryl followed sluggishly. 

he was spiraling. he was crashing and he couldn't stop it. he went to the bathroom after dinner to take a shower, and he's been in there for twenty minutes already and all he's managed to do was unbutton his shirt. he could hear aaron knocking, asking if he was okay, but he couldn't move. his heart was racing, his head was starting to hurt. he didn't hear the door open over how labored and uneven his breathing was or how loud his pulse was in his ears. he did feel himself lose his grip on the counter, and he felt the pain shoot through his knees as they hit the floor, and he felt aaron reaching out to him, and he felt his lungs closing, and he felt his heart beating out of his chest. then he felt nothing.

everything was different. he wasn't in the bathroom anymore - when did he get on the couch? where did he get these clothes? they're soft and warm and don't have holes so they can't be his. he could tell his hair was damp by how it was sticking to his face. the only thing that wasn't different was that aaron was still by his side, rubbing circles in his back. it was calming. he turned to the younger man. he was speaking to him. 

"-okay, daryl?" his voice cut in. daryl blinked. 

"yeah, i- i think so." his brow furrowed. "what happened?" 

"you had a panic attack. what do you remember last?" 

"think 'm missin' somethin'." he thought out loud. "how'd i get here? last i remember's fallin' in the bathroom." 

aaron looked at his watch. "you're missing a good hour." 

daryl cleared his throat. "was thinkin' 'bout maggie an' hershel. how 's my fault he don't have a father. my fault glenn's dead. 's my fault rick's gone, too." his breathing quickened. "i couldn't save either of 'em. i couldn't-" the words got stuck in his throat. aaron scooted closer as tears started falling, their thighs were pressed together. 

"dar, it's okay. it's not your fault." aaron wiped the tears on daryl's face away. "there was nothing you could've done."

"i could've- i-" he breathed in hard. "i could've looked harder. could've taken negan on. i-i lost them both." tears were threatening to spill from aaron's eyes at seeing daryl so _broken._

"but you saved me, remember?" daryl looked at him. aaron grabbed daryl's hand and pressed it over his heart. "feel that? that's because of _you_ , darly." daryl looked at his hand on aaron's chest. everything blurred to the background. he focused on the pulse under his palm. aaron's pulse. _i did that,_ he reassured himself. _i did that._

the next few days were better. daryl seemed lighter. aaron kept a close eye on him after that. 

aaron also discovered just how good daryl is with kids. when he wasn't hunting, tuning up his bike, or cleaning his weapons, he was with judith, gracie, and rj. 

aaron had work one day, so daryl offered to watch after gracie. coming home that night was something else. 

daryl was stood with gracie in front of him at the kitchen sink. they were washing what seemed to be blue paint off their hands. he could hear gracie's bubbly giggles and daryl's deep laughs. he walked in quietly and leaned on the doorframe and just watched. dog padded over to him and offered a blue paw to the man. aaron's heart was so full at that moment. he wanted this every day for the rest of his life. realization struck

" _oh_." 

he didn't realize he said it out loud until daryl turned around, a wide smile illuminating his face. "hey. we were painting." he seemed so carefree when he held up his wet, blue-stained hands. aaron just smiled and started walking towards him. daryl's head cocked to the side. "everythin' okay-" aaron's hand was on daryl's face in an instant. he pressed his lips to the other man's. their lips moved against each other's like they were meant to all along. aaron pulled back, but kept the contact of his hand on daryl's face and their foreheads pressed together. 

"i was right." 

daryl opened his eyes. "'bout what?" 

aaron pressed his lips to daryl's shortly.

"i knew you'd be a great dad." 

daryl kissed aaron again, only pulling back at the sensation of a tiny wet hand pressing against his face. he pulled back and laughed, and damn if aaron didn't love that sound. daryl's face was bright as he pulled aaron and gracie into a hug, a small peck placed on aaron's lips and gracie's forehead. 

dog walked in circles around their feet, tail going a mile a minute, and daryl finally knew what home felt like. 


End file.
